Thriving Through Cuffin Season: Real, Relatable, and Unreserved Advice

Written on 09/13/2023
Michelle

As we step into the colder seasons, you might find yourself wanting to snag that special someone to binge-watch old seasons of “Insecure” with. Yes, it’s the official kickoff to the cuffin season, a time to find that Netflix-and-chill partner. We’ve dived into the treasure trove of relationship insights from seasoned experts, sprinkled with the quintessential Issa Rae vibe — real, warm, and unreserved. Let’s get into it:

Keeping it 100 with Communication

In the words of Issa Rae, “I thrive on obstacles. If I’m told that it can’t be told, then I push harder.” Just like pushing boundaries in her career, Rae would advise new couples to push boundaries in communication. Drawing from the wisdom of Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages,” get deep, get real, and understand each other’s love languages to foster a connection that’s more robust and satisfying.

Trust & Boundaries: No Sugar-Coating Allowed

Brené Brown always comes through with the real talk in “The Gifts of Imperfection.” She says it straight, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” Let’s take that courage into cuffin season, setting those boundaries without sugar-coating anything because a relationship without trust is like a phone without a battery — useless.

Emotional Connections: Get in Your Feels

Channeling Dr. Sue Johnson from “Hold Me Tight,” it’s all about being emotionally available for your partner. Issa herself is no stranger to displaying raw and honest emotions on screen. So, let’s get in our feels, be present, and responsive because, let’s face it, emotional responsiveness is a total game-changer in relationships.

Growing Together: Be Each Other’s Hype Person

Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt remind us in “Getting the Love You Want” that relationships are a two-way street. Remember how Issa Rae hypes her friends up in real life and on screen? Be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, encouraging personal growth and celebrating each milestone, big or small.

Intimacy: Keep that Spice Level on High

Esther Perel in “Mating in Captivity” teaches us the art of maintaining the spark in a relationship. And you know Issa would say, “keep it spicy!” Encourage different forms of intimacy and never let the fire die down; we’re talking emotional, intellectual, and yes, physical too. Keep it fresh, keep it exciting, keep it spicy.

Conflict Resolution: Let’s Not Get Petty

Taking a leaf from John Gottman’s “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” we are stepping into conflict resolution with maturity, no pettiness allowed. As Issa showcases in her stories, conflicts can indeed pave the way for deeper understanding and personal growth.

Envisioning the Future: Dream, But Stay Woke

As we dream of a future together, let’s not forget Sherry Argov’s nuggets of wisdom from “Why Men Marry Bitches.” It’s all about balancing power and respect to build a relationship grounded in mutual respect and understanding. Dream together, but stay woke, ensuring the foundation is strong, respectful, and harmonious.

Help on Deck: It’s Okay to Ask

Dr. Alexandra Solomon reminds us in “The Love, Sex, and Relationship Dream Dictionary” that seeking help is a strength, not a weakness. Just like Issa’s journey of self-discovery, it’s perfectly fine to reach out for professional help to navigate the complex pathways of relationships.

Issa Rae would probably tell you, “know your worth” as you navigate the exciting yet sometimes complicated world of cuffin season. Be real, be open, and always keep it 100. It’s the season to build bonds grounded in authenticity, understanding, and mutual growth, creating a relationship narrative that’s as captivating as an episode from “Insecure.” Let’s do it the Issa Rae way — with warmth, honesty, and a touch of unreserved realness.